Why we procrastinate and what we’re really putting off?
Some themes tend to show up in therapy again and again, no matter how old the client is. Procrastination is one of them. Or rather, all its close cousins: postponing, delaying, avoiding, putting things off.
Procrastination is a pattern
One that keeps us from moving forward. It holds us back from the results we want, frustrates us, and often fills us with quiet dissatisfaction. First toward ourselves. Then, gradually, toward everything and everyone around us. The world starts to feel like it’s working against us. Nothing flows. Everything becomes resistance.
Let’s take a moment to look at this behavior from a different angle. But first, let’s call out a few familiar roots of this habit.
Why We Procrastinate? Same Excuses, Different Day
We often postpone things because of one or more of these reasons:
1. Perfectionism
Waiting for the “right” moment to start—or avoiding the task entirely out of fear it won’t turn out perfectly.2. Lack of motivation
There’s no emotional connection or clear reason behind the task, so we feel no inner drive to begin.3. Distractions everywhere
Our environment is full of temptations (phone, messages, scrolling…), and our focus gets hijacked.4. Mental or physical fatigue
When you’re running on empty, even simple tasks feel heavier than they are.5. Unclear decisions
We delay because we don’t know where to begin or what direction to choose.6. Poor prioritization
Everything feels urgent. But without clarity, we fall into decision paralysis.7. Anxiety or stress
The task stirs up emotional discomfort—like fear of failing, being judged, or making mistakes.8. A habit, plain and simple
Sometimes procrastination is just a routine. Something we’ve stopped questioning.9. Lack of self-trust
When we don’t feel capable or confident, it’s easier to say “not now” than to try and fail.10. Passive rebellion
Delaying a task can be a quiet form of resistance—against rules, expectations, or someone else’s authority.
So… What Are You Really Postponing?
When we avoid a task, we’re not just avoiding effort or discomfort.
We’re also postponing all the good things that come with being done:
– That small but satisfying feeling of ”Finally, I did it.”
– A sense of relief and inner calm
– Free time and mental space
– Recognition—either from others or from ourselves
– Progress (and the new doors it might open)
– Joy. Yep, even joy.
What Helps (Without Sounding Like Advice)
If you’d like to start changing this habit, here are a few gentle suggestions:
1. Get curious about the “why.”
Ask yourself honestly: ”What exactly am I avoiding?” (You’ll find a little checklist below*.)
2. Shift your focus.
Instead of dwelling on how hard it feels, think about what’s waiting on the other side—peace, relief, clarity.
3. Break it down.
A big task can feel overwhelming. Try breaking it into small, doable steps. Just start with one.
4. Try the Pomodoro technique.
Work with full focus for 25 minutes, then take a 5-minute break. Repeat. It works wonders.
5. Reward yourself.
Even small wins deserve a little celebration.
6. Find an accountability buddy.
Sometimes, just knowing someone’s checking in is enough to keep you moving forward.
*A Quick Self-Check
If you’re stuck in a loop of procrastination, take a moment to scan this list and see what resonates:
– It feels boring or uninteresting.
– It seems too hard or complex.
– I don’t know where to start.
– I’m afraid I’ll fail or mess it up.
– I don’t see the point of doing it.
– I’m waiting to be in a “better mood.”
– I want it to come out *just right.*
– I’m too tired or mentally drained.
– I keep getting distracted.
– I’m not emotionally connected to it.
– I haven’t prioritized it clearly.
– I don’t feel good enough to do it well.
– I’m rebelling against how or why it was assigned.
– I’m just used to putting things off.
If three or more feel familiar, pause and ask yourself: ”What exactly am I postponing when I don’t act?”
”What good things am I not letting in?”
You’re Not Just Putting Off a Task. You’re Putting Off the Peace That Follows.
When you delay something, you’re not just postponing an item on your to-do list.
You’re postponing relief.
You’re postponing your own satisfaction.
You’re postponing that moment where you smile to yourself and say: “I actually did it.”
Procrastination isn’t a personal flaw—it’s just a habit. And like any habit, it can be changed.
So next time you feel like postponing, ask yourself:
”Do I really want to put off that amazing feeling too?”
And hey—if this resonates with you, there’s another post on the blog circling the same theme. Don’t put it off. Go read it. (Okay, okay… five minutes from now.)
